The setting is the playground, the conversation goes like this – “you can’t play with us, your too stupid.” “Your clothes aren’t cool, where do you shop the dollar store!?” “No one wants to be your friend.”
You log into your computer only to find out that someone has created a website about you. Your peers are talking behind your back about you, but pretend to like you in person. The website contains harsh and threatening words. You tell your family, but that makes things worse, the peers are confronted and now no one talks to you. You walk down the hallway at school and other stop and stare and whisper about you. You receive text messages and emails from people you haven’t even talked to.
You think you do your work well, but there is a co-worker who is always blaming you for things that go wrong. They are highly critical of your work, and focus on every task you are doing and pick out every little mistake. They take ownership for work you have done, and criticize you for work that was theirs.
Bullying Has to Stop
Why do bullies bully? You would think we would all want to be treated as we treat others. It makes sense to me…..I’m nice to you, you should be nice back to me. It doesn’t always work that way. So, why does bullying occur? There are multiple reasons from power and control, to the way someone was raised to getting more social recognition from being negative over positive.
There are consequences to bullying
There are consequences to both those being bullied and the bully. Those being bullied may start to isolate from others, come home with injuries, talk about suicide, are unable to sleep, feel helpless, and are afraid to go to certain places.
The bully has uncontrollable anger, controls other, blames others and may have had contact with the law.
How to stop a bully
While there is hard for one person to stop a bully, it is important that both the victim and the bully get help. Speaking up for yourself about being bullied, telling someone you trust what is happening helps, the important thing is not to stay silent.
Alternatively, if you know of someone with anger management issues or is a bully, even though they act as if they were happy, most of the times, these people are also dealing with a bundle of insecurities, fears and other underlying issues and need help. In any case, if at all possible, talk to them about your concerns.
Are you being bullied? Have you been called a bully? If you need any help, give me a call.